|
This lousy midget Canadian has come to American movies and television, giving nothing to us but the pain of having to watch him. Examples: Family Ties, Back to the Future 2, Back to the Future 3, Back to the Future 4. Look below to see this bastard (who's middle name doesn't even begin with "J") trying to plow his sickly manhood into more of our young, fruitful American women. Bonus: Click here to see a picture of Michael J. Fox gripping an award. I wonder what he's gripping with the other hand . . . This is the most retarded and shameful part of Canada by far. First, they actually think they can play something besides hockey. Second, they actually think people like it. Look at this crap! Their league slogan is "Radically Canadian!" This is a slogan that could only have been thought up by some damn Canadian. Some damn Canadian woman, probably. Then these stupid canucks actually think that they have legends in their ass football league as well. How can you be a legend when you're playing a pseudo-football game filled with French-Canadian hosers?? Celine Dion is French-Canadian! And even she knows the CFL sucks! Also, I'm glad they finally have a Canadian Football League credit card. What a fucking joke.   
Hey, isn't it funny that America's leading news broadcaster is a high school dropout? A Canadian high school dropout, nonetheless? He also has two divorced wives, both of whom left because they felt he tainted our American news, making it too "canuck-like." Many sources also say Jennings was responsible for thinking up the idea of raising the Berlin Wall in the 1960s, during a bad acid trip on one of his reporting expeditions. Jennings is also a big advocate on educating our youth about the AIDS virus, mainly because he invented it. Jennings is also responsible for scurvy, hepatitus b, the black plague and Bert on Sesame Street being gay.   
....at work PJ.......laid back PJ......acid trip PJ Bryan Adams: even the name itself brings great pain to my ears. The thought of listening to that goddamn "Everything I do, I do it for You" song even once more makes me want to cut off my testicles and shove a metal salad fork through my eardrums. This travesty of a musical artist has a website which you must pay, PAY to become a member of so you can get discounts on ugly ass hats that say his name on them. Canada, you have struck your mightiest blow. If anyone out there ever sees someone wearing a Bryan Adams hat, punch them in the balls. Click here to see an artist's rendering of the mysterious, yet violently dangerous Bryan Adams.  
Ummm...okay, maybe we can excuse this one. BUT NO OTHERS, YOU HEAR ME?!? I DON'T WANT TO SEE THOSE DAMN BARENAKED LADIES BECOMING AN EXCEPTION, ALRIGHT?!? 
If Celine Dion's music is heaven, I pray I'll never see what hell is like. About the only good thing about this woman (if you can call her that) is that she tries to cover up her Canadian heritage by hyphenating it with another country. Unfortunately, this other country is France. Seeing that French-Canadians are even worse than Canadians, I see it as even more reason to wish for her death. I'm not going to give a brief biography of her like I did for the rest of these friggin' canucks. She's already told her life story to VH1 so many times that even they are asking her to stop calling. She's on every single show they produce, whether it makes sense or not, so if you can't find this bitch on a repeat somewhere, the apocolypse is nipping very closely on our heels. Captions for the pictures below: Pic 1: This is the only picture in history that actually makes me want to stop masturbating. Seriously. Pic 2: Why?!?!? Take it back! Take it back!!  
To see a special picture of each of these other nasty, no good Canadians, click on their name. Please note that I have omitted the incredibly horrible Matthew Perry and William Shatner from this list, mainly because I didn't want to be caught looking up pictures of them on the internet by one of my friends. Alanis Morissette Keanu Reeves Paul Schaffer Alex Trebek Shania Twain 
This site has been awarded the Cool Canuck Site Award, given to all quality and respectable Canadian sites! |
