What Paul Had For Breakfast Today!

So, you want to know what I had/am having for breakfast this week, huh? Well you're in the right place. Yes, it's pointless and really stupid, but it'll entertain you for a while. And besides-- what part of this site HAS a point??? So keep on reading. This section will be updated weekly, keeping you up to date on what I had for breakfast.

MONDAY

Monday's breakfast was Fruit Loops. And not those crappy imitation ones that are in the big horsefeeder bags on the bottom shelves of the grocery stores either. Actual Fruit Loops. Breakfast doesn't get any better than this.


TUESDAY

Tuesday's breakfast was cold pizza and Mountain Dew. Oooooh yeah, no combination will make you sick as much as this will. It'll leave your stomach churning for more! All this and it's also been medically proven to improve your sex life (After eating this breakfast, nothing on earth will seem quite as gross-- no matter how fat she is).


WEDNESDAY

Wednesday's breakfast was canned peas. This may sound peculiar to you, but I LOVE peas. Mmmmmm, peas. Each can filled with delicious green peaness....no, wait-- that doesn't sound right...


THURSDAY

Thursday's breakfast was eggs and bacon. Basically, chicken shit and pig fat. Call me chicken shit today, and I'll say "Yup," cause you are what you eat. And on Thursdays I guess I'm a chicken shit, as well as a big fat pig.


FRIDAY

I woke up late today and had to rush to class, so Friday's breakfast was prunes. Prunes set me free.


SATURDAY

Saturday I woke up too late, and Hardee's had already stopped serving their yummy breakfast (Go to the Hardee's in Bloomington, MN-- Pearl makes some kickin' biscuits). So I scrounged 3 dirty, linty skittles from the inside of the heating vent. Skittles-- taste the rainbow. Though today the rainbow tastes like warm, hairy fruit.


SUNDAY

Sunday's breakfast was oatmeal. Soggy like your grandpa's diaper, artificial like your mom's hair color, and mooshy like your head, it really hits the spot. You take one look at the box and say to yourself, "There's no way in hell people eat this." Yup, Quaker Oatmeal-- food so bad that even homeless people won't eat it.

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