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List Of Idiots: If I Had A Picture Of Your Mother, It'd Be On Here
Welcome to the world famous "List of Idiots." The people included here either volunteered or were forced to be. This is all in good fun, though most of the things mentioned here are true. And it's not a private club either! You too can join the world famous "List of Idiots!" Just click here, and remember to include your name and a little bit about yourself. If you don't tell me about yourself, I'll make it up! PLEASE SEND E-MAIL TO THESE IDIOTS. THEY LOVE RECEIVING IT, AND IF YOU HAVE NOTHING ORIGINAL TO SAY TO THEM, JUST REPEAT WHAT I WROTE HERE. IT'S VERY VERY FUN, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEM, BECAUSE THEN THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU! SO SAY THE RUDEST, MOST PROFANE THING YOU CAN, AND HAVE FUN! LEE GRAVES Lee is someone who goes to my college. He is about 5'2", 350 lbs. He wanted me to put a picture of him up with his name, but I told him "No-- you're ugly" He collects bugs and dead rats. He is a full time student and freak at the University of Wisconsin-Superior. No one likes him except for his girlfriend, Yolanda Friborg. She is blind. Lee lives with his mom here on campus, but she leaves at night to work the graveyard shift at McDonald's, leaving the naughty night wide open for studly Lee. To send a message directly to studly Lee-- Press 8331. PAUL RYAN (ME)  Click me if you enjoy moonbootsHi, I'm Paul. I created this website. I am 8'4", 70 lbs, with no hair and black eyes. But I am still cooler than Lee, 'cause my mom doesn't live with me. She lives in my car. I am a real loser that likes to shop at K-Mart. Actually, I am an 85 year old garbage man who likes to listen to great 80's music like "Wham." When I was born, I came out sideways (and wearing moon boots). My mom has hated me ever since. To send a message directly to me-- Click on my e-mail address at the bottom of the page. KYLE NUTTING Kyle did not ask to be on here, but I decided to put him on after he tried to hit on my 8 year-old sister. Kyle is 18 years old himself, and his stomach alone weighs 200 lbs. He has large, manly breasts and flabby old lady arms. He will thoroughly beat me after reading this. To send a message directly to manly-breasted Kyle-- Press 8332. DAVE SCHLEIFER Dave is quite the popular man on campus. He is 6'3" with a small portion of his face slightly mutated from an accident involving a chisel. He employs his talented self at Simek's-- a chain of meatsmackers. He says that he goes to Carlson College to make himself sound cool, but it's actually just the University of Minnesota. What a loser. He once had an entire section of his high school paper devoted to his alcoholism, though he denies every true word of it. He also likes puppies. In what way we do not know. Perhaps a personal problem. He claims to have once saved the world from some organization called D.E.C.A. I think it could possibly stand for Definite Evilness Causes Acne. He also claims that Jason "Lenny" Lennartson helped him, but when asked about it, Jason said that Dave is "chock full of bullshit and green pea-ness." So to sum it up, Dave is a fruitcake. Stay away from him at all costs-- especially if you are a woman with large breasts. He likes that. So stay inside, away from the singles bars, and for God's sake girls, wear baggy clothes. To send a message directly to psycho dave-- Press 8333. MIKE SCHWALEN He's skinny and weird-looking, and has a certain quirkiness to him that just makes you wanna punch him in the face. He hangs out with Kyle Nutting (Also on this list) all the time. Apparently he doesn't feel that he looks tiny enough, therefore he goes and finds the biggest, fattest man on the face of God's green earth to hang out with. Mike was involved with a few pretty blonde girls here and there, but they all dumped him off when he started dressing up like super heroes (Batman mostly) and watching pro wrestling 24 hours a day. I'd also like to take this time to mention that I have slept with every woman he has ever dated. Twice. To send a message directly to Mike "The guy with the pink tights" Schwalen-- Press 8334. MIKE RYAN He is my brother, and I am proud. A homeless man, he travels from town to town gathering discarded food and half-smoked cigarettes for his own use. He spends his days drinking booze and playing "Yahtzee" with himself. During family get-togethers he constantly soils himself while rambling on about haggis and his imaginary "extra body parts." At the request of many, I will not explain that incident any further. Yes, he is following in the footsteps of all great Ryan men-- getting things for free, drinking without fear, and going to the bathroom at any time or place without notifying anyone (Including themselves). To send a message directly to homeless Mike-- Press 8335. Evgeny, Siberian slutcakes  Click me, I'm fucking Siberian!Ummm, okay. I don't really know this guy, but I'm sure that he's an idiot, so he makes the cut for this list. Evgeny, which is a Siberian name that means "One who licks goats in unacceptable places", is a guy who loves long walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, the fragrence of freshly cut flowers, and fat chicks who give good head. I am absolutely, positively 100% sure that this guy will be waiting anxiously for your e-mails. He seems to have a lot of time on his hands, and he'll probably have sticky hands if you're a girl and you send him your picture. To send a message directly to Homoerotic Evgeny-- Press 8339. Edward Foster  Click me and I'll get uglier!Edward Foster is a loser. God, what an understatement that is. I first noticed this idiot when he spammed my messageboard, trying to get people to come to his shitty page. Get this, though: Ed is 62 years-old and lives with his mother in a trailer. I'm not making this up. He claims he wants to rid the world of online idiots, but he himself is the biggest moron on the face of the earth. And he's also ugly. God, I can't stress enough how much of a loser this guy is. If you want to send a gay love letter directly to Edward-- Press 8340.  E-mail the webmaster
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