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Survey Sez 2
Welcome to the second installment of Survey Sez! Thank you for coming! I'm
very excited to have you take this survey! Actually, I don't give a rat's ass.
But take the survey anyway-- it will be fun. If you send me your score, I'll
post it for all to see.
Question #1: How many beers does it take to get you drunk?  B) 7 C) 3 beer queer D) I don't drink Correct answer: A. If you picked D, pack your things and move out of the country. We don't need more people like you.  B) 69 C) 10 D) Shut the hell up Correct answer: There is no correct answer. If you picked B, you're lying. If you picked C...you're still lying. Most of us secretly picked D, but told all of our friends A. A) Stupid B) Stupid C) Stupid D) Stupid Ahhhh. Thank you. I feel so much better now that I know the truth. Everyone gets a point. A) A former pitcher for the Minnesota Twins B) The guy that wrote the song "La Bamba" C) Quite ugly D) Currently working at Taco John's Correct answer: A, C, and D A) quite frequently B) therefore I am C) and people go away D) in a cup and save it for later Correct answer: D. It's funny if you think about it. Really.  A) Boxers B) Briefs (tighty whities) C) Thongs D) A sock Correct answer: D. A) Successful B) Really fat C) Dying of syphillus D) A man Correct answer: Most likely C. But give yourself points for B as well. A) A new flavor of beef jerky B) My cousin's nickname C) Monkey poo D) you don't wanna know Correct answer: D.  A) O-S-C-A-R B) P-E-N-I-S C) mister H-A-P-P-Y D) S-T-E-V-E Correct answer: C. Or D if your name is Steve. A) Your mother B) Your last girlfriend C) That you have to return that porno tape to the video store D) Nothing-- you just really badly want to meet that woman Correct answer: Hopefully B. 0-3 POINTS--That's it? 3 freakin' points!?! That's terrible! How did you ever explore my site this far without puking??? 4-6 POINTS--You are kind of sick, but not really. You don't live at home, but your mom still picks out your clothes. You think you might like to try "getting it on," but you're not quite sure how something like that works. 7-9 POINTS--You're almost there. You're pretty perverted, but you just need that extra push to send you over the top. Go drink for 3 days straight, and then come back and take the quiz again. 10 POINTS--Congratulations! You have reached Zen. You're almost rivaling me now. You are so sick, perverted, and moronic that you now have almost no chance of getting a woman! Either that or you play hockey and get laid a lot. If you are a homecoming queen, a hot dog vendor, or Juan Berenguer, please do not be offended. Especially if the things I mentioned were true. |
