LETTERS COLUMN 43: HOLIDAY CHRISTMAS . . . OH SCREW IT
(December 21, 2005)

COLUMNS THAT DIDN'T WORK
(December 16, 2005)

A LETTER TO DULUTH, MN MAYOR HERB BERGSON
(December 14, 2005)

A TRIP TO THE OPHTHALMOLOGIST
(December 12, 2005)

DEAR ASSCLOWNS: PLEASE MOCK MY PHOTO
(December 9, 2005)

YET ANOTHER POORLY THOUGHT OUT PLAN
(December 7, 2005)

AL FRANKEN IS A SHORT MAN WITH A HUGE NOGGIN
(December 5, 2005)

TODAY'S COLUMN HAS BEEN CANCELLED BECAUSE OF GAS
(December 2, 2005)

LETTERS COLUMN 42: IT ALWAYS ENDS WITH A CUMSHOT
(November 30, 2005)

BIFOCALS ARE CHEATING
(November 28, 2005)

TOP 10 RAMBLINGS COLUMNS
(November 25, 2005)

RAMBLINGS CELEBRITY MOCKERY GALA
(November 23, 2005)

IT'S TIME FOR A CHRISTMAS COLUMN!
(November 21, 2005)

I CLEAN UP POOP AND SQUISH COCKROACHES
(November 18, 2005)

GIRLS GONE WILD: LOUISIANA BROKEN LEVY EDITION
(November 14, 2005)

CONVERSATIONS I HAD AT WORK TODAY
(November 11, 2005)

DENIALS
(November 9, 2005)

THE DEER HUNTING OPENER
(November 7, 2005)

DON'T EVER BUY A CELLPHONE FROM BEST BUY'S WEBSITE
(November 4, 2005)

LETTERS TO PEOPLE PAUL HATES
(November 2, 2005)

I HAVE A HALLOWEEN CONFESSION
(October 31, 2005)

IT'S TIME FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED WELLS FARGO ASS-WHOOPING
(October 28, 2005)

A SEXY INTERVIEW WITH BEN BERNANKE
(October 26, 2005)

THE PROBLEM WITH CRAIG'S LIST
(October 24, 2005)

TRANSCRIPT FROM SADDAM HUSSEIN'S TRIAL
(October 21, 2005)

SUCK ON THIS: I'M DOING LESS WORK THAN YOU FOR MORE MONEY
(October 19, 2005)

WHEN YOU DRIVE SLOW, YOU GET THE DEUCE
(October 17, 2005)

ROOMMATE DOUCHEBAGGERY SCALE
(October 12, 2005)

I AM NOT A RUGGED MAN
(October 10, 2005)

FORTY-ONE QUESTIONS AND ONE IMPORTANT MESSAGE
(October 7, 2005)

PUT A LITTLE ROCK N' ROLL ART INTO YOUR HEART
(October 5, 2005)

TELEVISION FOOTBALL ANNOUNCERS: THE MODERN ERA'S FORGOTTEN RETARDS
(October 3, 2005)

I'M A LIAR? YOU'RE A LIAR
(September 30, 2005)

THE FALL OF BEST BUY
(September 28, 2005)

NO DIRECTION HOME? MY SHORT RETURN TO DULUTH
(September 26, 2005)

IF YOU BREAK THE LAW, YOU SHOULD BE FORCED TO LOOK LIKE CRAP
(September 23, 2005)

A DAY ON THE CONSTRUCTION JOB
(September 21, 2005)

I'M A CONSTRUCTION LABORER
(September 19, 2005)

THE PRESIDENT SAID WHAT?
(September 16, 2005)

THIS IS WHERE I LIVE
(September 14, 2005)

FOUND COMEDY
(September 12, 2005)

THIS BUSINESS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH, YOUNG READER!
(September 9, 2005)

THE TALE OF TWO CARS AND ONE LOUSY GOVERNMENT
(September 7, 2005)

IT'S TIME WE ALL SUPPORTED ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL A LITTLE MORE OFTEN
(September 2, 2005)

DAILY RAMBLINGS READER COVERAGE
(August 31, 2005)

LETTERS COLUMN 41: TEACHING, MARRIAGE, AND DRINKING
(August 29, 2005)

JOB OPPORTUNITIES ARE EVERYWHERE, BUT THEY ALL REQUIRE ACTUAL WORK
(August 26, 2005)

THE DOCTRINE OF THE UNEMPLOYED
(August 24, 2005)

THINGS I LEARNED BECAUSE I DON'T DO CRAP
(August 22, 2005)

FILM REVIEWS WITH DWENDELL AND WENDELL
(August 19, 2005)

LAST ONE TO LEAVE DULUTH, TURN OFF THE NORSHOR
(August 17, 2005)

MATT LEBLANC FOR SALE
(August 15, 2005)

COMMUNITY EVENTS SUCK
(August 12, 2005)

TODAY
(August 10, 2005)

CHURCH ON MONDAY: AN END TO BOTH HEATHENISM AND WORK
(August 8, 2005)

BEER, HOT DOGS, AND YELLING AT CHILDREN: PAUL'S WEEK AT THE BALLPARK
(August 5, 2005)

HAIR THERAPY
(August 1, 2005)

OOPS, I ERASED TODAY'S COLUMN
(July 29, 2005)

DOMINO'S PIZZA PRESENTS . . . A CITY FOR ORTHODOX CATHOLICS?
(July 27, 2005)

WARPED TOUR PHOTOS FROM MINNEAPOLIS
(July 25, 2005)

THE POSTMAN DOESN'T HAVE TO RING TWICE
(July 22, 2005)

FM RADIO'S SLOW CRAWL TO THE GRAVE
(July 20, 2005)

IT'S TIME FOR A NEW DRIVER'S LICENSE
(July 18, 2005)

THE PAWLENTY AGENDA
(July 15, 2005)

BRING ON THE NASTY SOFT DRINKS
(July 13, 2005)

I WENT TO A COUNTRY MUSIC BAR
(July 11, 2005)

PINK, YOU SAY?
(July 8, 2005)

SIMPLE TELEVISIONS ARE FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE
(July 6, 2005)

IT'S THE FRIDAY BEFORE A HOLIDAY? LET'S SKIP WORK AND GO RETRO
(July 1, 2005)

DON'T KILL THEM! THEY'LL ONLY MULTIPLY!
(June 29, 2005)

SOME INFORMATION I KNOW ABOUT YOU
(June 24, 2005)

ORWELL, UPDATED
(June 22, 2005)

A FATHER'S DAY MESSAGE
(June 20, 2005)

WORK LOG
(June 17, 2005)

A MEMO FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK REGARDING HIPPIES
(June 15, 2005)

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME WHILE I'M SHAVING
(June 13, 2005)

HERE IS WHAT I WOULD LIKE IN A LADY, DAMN IT
(June 10, 2005)

INTEL IN AN APPLE COMPUTER? GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY
(June 8, 2005)

DEATH TO ENCORES
(June 6, 2005)

LETTERS COLUMN 40: PEDOPHILES, FUNDING, AND POONTANG IN THE DETROIT RIVER
(June 3, 2005)

HOWIE MANDEL IS "DEEP THROAT"
(June 1, 2005)

HEY, LOOK AT ME! I'M HOLDING ONE OF THESE BEER THINGIES!
(May 27, 2005)

UNUSUAL GREETING CARDS
(May 25, 2005)

THE GREAT HORRORS OF LAUNDRYTOWN
(May 23, 2005)

THE EUROPEAN CONSTITUTION? WHAT'S THAT?
(May 20, 2005)

BEN FRANKLIN: A PROFESSIONAL BIOGRAPHY
(May 18, 2005)

PEOPLE WITH THEIR MOUTHS OPEN ARE CREEPY
(May 16, 2005)

PORNFLIX
(May 13, 2005)

NOBODY EVER WRITES QUALITY FICTION INVOLVING LAUNDROMATS
(May 11, 2005)

ABE VIGODA, JERRY LEWIS TELL OF HITLER'S LAST DAYS
(May 9, 2005)

BOOKS WILL MAKE YOU GAY
(May 6, 2005)

TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY, SO I AIN'T GOTTA WRITE SHIT
(May 4, 2005)

"ANA", THE GODDESS OF STUPIDITY
(May 2, 2005)

SOME QUESTIONS FOR PRESIDENT BUSH
(April 29, 2005)

THE SENATE SOCIAL SECURITY HEARINGS
(April 27, 2005)

PAUL RYAN CONTRACTORS, INC.
(April 25, 2005)

LETTERS COLUMN 39: LET'S JUST TOSS SOME CRAP OUT THERE
(April 22, 2005)

SPACESHIPS! I SAID SPACESHIPS, YOU BASTARD!
(April 20, 2005)

UNBORN SPEARS/FEDERLINE BABY CHOSEN AS NEW POPE
(April 18, 2005)

WELCOME TO FURNITURE BARN
(April 15, 2005)

DULUTH HIPSTERS HATE ME
(April 13, 2005)

DON'T TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN
(April 11, 2005)

GAS MILEAGE TIPS
(April 8, 2005)

HEY PONTARELLI, I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU
(April 6, 2005)

WHERE IS MY AUTOMATIC HAIR, YOU JERKS
(April 4, 2005)

APRIL FOOLS DAY IS CANCELLED
(April 1, 2005)

APRIL FOOLS DAY IN DULUTH
(March 30, 2005)

WHINING GETS YOU EVERYWHERE
(March 28, 2005)

AN OPEN LETTER TO JEFF WEISE
(March 25, 2005)

I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE THE EASTER BUNNY
(March 23, 2005)

PAUL RYAN ARRESTED FOR PANDA INTERCOURSE
(March 21, 2005)

HEY YOU! STOP WATCHING TOTAL CRAP!
(March 18, 2005)

GET YOUR NCAA TOURNAMENT SWERVE ON
(March 16, 2005)

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE INTERNATIONAL BEER FESTIVAL
(March 14, 2005)

A SKIT WITH NAKED PEOPLE IN IT
(March 11, 2005)

MOLLY IVINS, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL
(March 9, 2005)

OWLS
(March 7, 2005)

I LEARNED SOME NEW SWEAR WORDS TODAY
(March 4, 2005)

POPE TO FOCUS ON NOT DYING
(March 2, 2005)

ONLY PUSSIES BUY A HOUSE
(February 28, 2005)

LETTERS COLUMN 38: PLEASE STOP E-MAILING ME ABOUT CELEBRITIES
(February 25, 2005)

THINGS I WILL DO TO SAVE MONEY
(February 23, 2005)

WHAT THE HELL?
(February 21, 2005)

OFFICE NOTES THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN SENT
(February 18, 2005)

THE FELDMAN RELIGION
(February 16, 2005)

HERE'S HOPING TODAY WILL BE YOUR WORST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER
(February 14, 2005)

THE PUSSYTRON 4000 ARENA IS A GO, BABY
(February 11, 2005)

HOW TO DO YOUR TAXES
(February 9, 2005)

THE SUPER BOWL: PROS AND CONS
(February 7, 2005)

GREAT PLAYS I HAVE YET TO WRITE
(February 4, 2005)

PIRATES DON'T LIKE GROUNDHOG'S DAY
(February 2, 2005)

A BORING COLUMN ABOUT NEWSPAPERS
(January 31, 2005)

PLEASE REVIEW MY COVER LETTER AND RESUME
(January 26, 2005)

M IS FOR 'MURDERING A HOBO'
(January 24, 2005)

WHY ARE PEOPLE SUCH BUZZKILLS?
(January 21, 2005)

WHAT THE HELL CAN WE DO WITH HATS?
(January 19, 2005)

DON'T IGNORE MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY
(January 17, 2005)

BLU-BLOCKERS? NO WAY. THEY'RE NOT LARGE ENOUGH
(January 14, 2005)

APPLE RELEASES ISUCKBALLS PRODUCT LINE
(January 12, 2005)

LINKS TO SLIGHTLY INTERESTING WEBCAMS
(January 10, 2005)

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
(January 7, 2005)

NO MORE POLLS ABOUT ELDERLY SEXPOTS, PLEASE
(January 5, 2005)

A NEW YEAR BEGINS
(January 3, 2005)





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