Don't Call It A Comeback!

Let me express my feelings in a way that more people should: with lyrics from LL Cool J.

Don't call it a comeback!
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin' suckas in fear
Makin' the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Explosion, overpowerin'
Over the competition, I'm towerin'
Wreckin' shop, when I drop these lyrics that'll make you call the COPS

Yes, Daily Ramblings is back after almost a week of being inaccessible. It's a long story that involves me, the good guy, battling evil webhosts. So to put it plainly, IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

But as Cool J says, don't call it a comeback. Frankly, I haven't been gone long enough to warrant a comeback. Frankly again, most people probably won't even notice the website was gone, since three-fourths of my visitors are college students gone for Christmas break. Frankly yet again, I wonder if people named "Frank" turn their heads, or stop and listen closely, when somebody says "frankly".

Maybe a bunch of Franks will search for their own name on the Internet, and end up at this page. Then I'd have a whole bunch of people named "Frank" coming to my website. Cool.

Whether you're a "Frank" or not, it's good to have you all back. I'm glad to be back as well, and I'm ready to write things here that will "make you call the COPS."

Mainly dirty and intimate things about your sister, like how she has that peculiar birthmark on her inner thigh. But I digress.

So what have I been doing since my webhosting service broke wind, blowing my entire website off the WWW? Don't worry, faithful reader. Even without this website, I've been "puttin' suckas in fear" each day. While I can't explain which suckas I put in fear, or how I went about putting the suckas in fear, or whether or not the suckas in question are still in fear, or why I would even waste time trying to frighten people who are widely known to be suckas, you can rest assured that the fearsome deed involved "rockin' my peers."

Okay, enough.

I'll keep today's column short and sweet (mainly because I've only written 322 words, yet I'm already out of LL Cool J jokes), but just to make sure you don't feel cheated, I'll leave you with a link to a funny New Year's column I wrote for The Newspaper - which employs me - this week. Like the Christmas one they published a few weeks ago, this one has nothing to do with anything in the local community, and is therefore actually funny.

I'm not sure why my editor keeps letting me print these ridiculous and potentially embarrassing columns in our respectable community newspaper, but I'm going to keep turning them in until people from the community start bitching, or until they learn that throwing eggs at my groin area hurts both physically and mentally.

(Other things to check out this week include the December 31 comic strip, which I didn't get around to updating until today. From last week, check out the other comic strip that you probably never saw.)