Readers declare yesterday's column 'lamest April fool's day prank ever'

Your letters came pouring in - all two of them - and there's nothing I can say except . . . I agree with you. It was a lame April fool's day joke. But what did you expect? It's deadline time at The Newspaper - which employs me - and I was also working my butt off on the April fool's day edition of the Reader Weekly (An alternative-weekly newspaper in Duluth, Minn. that syndicates my columns).

But don't worry, choosy reader. You'll get more humor than you can shake a dead midget at this Thursday, for the Thursday Surprise will include all the humor features I submitted to the Reader Weekly. I think Thursday's content will more than make up for yesterday's miserable attempt at fooling you.

Oh, but just to be fair, I did fool at least two people. Which goes to show you that a lot of people drink heavily while reading my column.

Anyway, in order to fill up this column so I can watch "The Tuxedo" on DVD (The subject of tomorrow's column . . . you'll love it), I have to answer a few letters discussing yesterday's column. The first one is from John in Duluth, Minn. Since John lives in the town where the Reader Weekly is located, he should make sure to pick up a copy this Thursday. What? Shameless self-promotion? I don't know what you're talking about, reader.

man, what a lame ass april fools joke. i would have thought that you could do something better than that.

Me too, John. Me too. But if you've been reading this column longer than a week, you probably already realize that failure is common for me: failure with comedy, failure with the ladies, failure to open the cup-o-fruit without spilling the juice all over myself. This list goes on and on. Would you even recognize my columns if they were funny? I rest my case.

Speeding right along, let's look at the second and final letter, which doesn't actually say anything bad about yesterday's column. But it does mention yesterday's column, so I figure that counts. Here's Adam in Richfield, Minn:

I wasn't fooled. Really! I wasn't! I only clicked on the link at the bottom of the page because I suspected it would lead (as usual) to the Naked Volleyball page. I was right. Now I can go through my April Fool's day with a tremendous sense of self-satisfaction.

Naked volleyball is a staple to this webpage. Since day one, one thing has stayed consistent about Daily Ramblings: links that trick you into visiting totally awesome webpages. I've probably sent more visitors to the naked volleyball site than any other person alive. And I'm proud of it, because I SUPPORT NAKED VOLLEYBALL.

But enough about yesterday's column. Let's forget about that, and just do our best to make today's column cool. Here's your coolness: a grill that hooks up to your computer. Seriously, that grill is freakin' awesome.

Wednesday Music Spotlight rawks you dead. Last Saturday I went to see Damone (see this music spotlight) when they were opening for The Ataris. The Ataris were cool enough that I thought I should feature them here.

If there's one reason why The Ataris are a great band, it's because they're incredibly loyal to their fans. They read their own fan mail, they keep their ticket prices low, and they even take the time to sign autographs after a show (I got my ticket stub signed). The song I'm including here is off their new album. It's called "My Reply". You really have to wait for the chorus on this one. Pure indie rock goodness.