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Craplogging: the new wave of the lazy future![]() ...................Paul Ryan
Anyway, I'm tired today, and don't feel like doing any actual work. Usually when I feel like this, I just throw together a lame blog, but today I'm even too lazy for that. If I'm going to write humor today, it's going to be a maximum one or two funny sentences per subject. Nothing more. This idea got me thinking. Bloggers are traditionally just people who are too lazy to actually write an entire column or essay on a subject, and people who read blogs are usually just too lazy to read an entire column or essay. So why don't we take blogs, and make them even shorter? Let's take a blog and trim the content down to one humorous comment for each topic. One joke. A few sentences, nothing more. It's like stand-up comedy in blog form. I think this style could catch on. Since I just invented this new style of blogging, I get to name it. Instead of a "blog", I will call this new form a "crapalog" (pronounced crap-a-log). When people ask you what the hell a crapalog is, you can say, "It's not a blog, it's a crapalog." Users of this style can call themselves "craploggers" (pronounced cra-ploggers), the active form of which will be "craplogging" (pronounced cra-plogging). The greatest part about craplogging is that you can use any existing blog tools to do it. This means that as the inventor of the style, I don't have to do anything besides sit on my fat ass and watch it spread across the Internet like leprosy at the YMCA. The second greatest part about craplogging is that 99% of people will mispronounce it as crap-logging instead of cra-plogging, which will give you the opportunity to lash out at them for their stupidity, and lack of trendiness. And you know you love doing that, you pretentious little indie a-hole. By a-hole, I of course mean asshole. You goddamn asshole. I was going to try out this new style of writing with my own crapalog, but the software I was using to do it was a big piece of crap. So I'll have to find something else in the meantime that allows me to keep all the templates and files on my own website.
This song doesn't come out until August 25, but thanks to Apple's iTunes Music Store, I was able to download it as a single. Gotta love the iTunes Music Store. Gotta love Apple.
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