Video game Friday

Goddamn it, I'm tired, it's late, and I just got my Al Franken book and I want to read it. So today will be video game Friday. I'll even include a few dirty versions of the games that are out there. Enjoy the fun of Nintendo emulation on your computer.

Windows users, download the emulator (that's what plays the games) here. Macintosh users download the emulator here.

Here's a bunch of old-school Nintendo games (they work for PCs and Macs):

• Super Mario Brothers
• Mike Tyson's Punch-Out
• Legend of Zelda
• Megaman 2
• Excitebike
• Kid Icarus
• Rampage

• Super Mario Brothers: hacked (Legend of Zelda characters substituted for regular characters.)
• River City Ransom: hacked (Main character is replaced by Wilford Brimley, the old guy who used to be on the Quaker Oats commercials. The enemies look like Wilford Brimleys with different-colored shirts. It's awesome.)
• Super Dodgeball: hacked (It's just like regular dodgeball, except instead of throwing balls, you're throwing babies. There are also a few dead baby jokes thrown in. Dan L. Stock would be proud.)
• Mike Tyson's Punch-Out: hacked #1 (the clean version. The boxers are slightly different, and sometimes say funny things between rounds, like "Your momma!")
• Mike Tyson's Punch-Out: hacked #2 (WARNING: this version of the game is just plain wrong. It's "nude punch-out". All the boxers are nude. It's disgusting. Seriously. Don't even download it.)

1 part vodka
1 part orange juice
1 shot of grenadine

The grenadine adds that extra touch that makes it worthy of the hot ladies in "Blue Crush" (who probably don't actually know how to surf). Remember to add ice. People who don't add ice to mixed drinks are almost as bad as people who masturbate to Sesame Street.

Rate column 5 - Great 4 - Good 3 - Average 2 - Poor 1 - Awful