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As the election ends, the real America returns Paul Ryan Note: Check the Crapalog for my final commentary on last night's election.
"They make you give a finger just to vote!" he screamed joyously at everyone who walked past. Normally, this would have scared the living daylights out of me, but after months of TV ads screaming at me to vote one way or the other, being confronted by a non-partisan lunatic was quite refreshing. The large voter turnout this year made for an interesting line of people. In front of me was an old man wearing an expensive-looking leather jacket. Behind me was a young man dressed in full pajamas. I was tempted to ask them if they had accidentally switched clothes. They were both yawning, and I soon found myself doing the same. A man for the "Voter Rights Team," which supervises the polling locations, sat in a chair beside the registration table, feeding salted nuts into his mouth between yawns. The entire room looked like a narcolepsy convention, but we were all there for a good reason - because we were proud to vote. This was the first time I've ever had to wait in line to vote, and strange as it seems, it felt great. During the 2000 election, I was living in Duluth, a community not unlike the La Crosse area. I didn't have to wait in line to vote then. I just walked up to the smiling church ladies at the folding card table and handed them my ballot. It was nice to be able to vote so quickly, but this year was much more satisfying. Being gathered with so many other voters made me feel proud of my country, and for good reason. For the first time in months, I was seeing the real America. There were no candidates bickering or activists squabbling. It was just 50 normal people waiting patiently in line to mark their ballot. This was the quiet, sophisticated America no one ever writes about. Every single one of us knew how we were going to vote, and none of us made a sound. We were polite, mature, and content. The election was on its last day, and there was finally nothing left to bicker about. Every election, the media portrays Americans as one second away from a fistfight. All the Crossfire and Hardball debate shows make us seem so different from each other, but on this last day, it was easy to see the error in that portrayal. Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative, I think it's safe to say we were all glad to see this election come to a close. And on this last day, we were happy. Most people smiled after loading their ballot into the machine. Was it because they knew they could watch TV, listen to the radio, and read the newspaper without having to deal with the constant pessimism of political ads? Absolutely. It was our first taste in months of being unconstrained. Life was returning to normal, and we were finally free.
At least until the recount.
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