Reasons why Michael Moore is sexy

Note: This is day one of "guest column week" at Daily Ramblings. I'll be taking a break this week while my readers fill in with their own columns. Today's column is by longtime reader Meghan Finley.

Ok. So this isn't the usual banter from Paul. It's certainly out of his league, that's for sure. Like he could find beauty in this type of man. The only men Paul fancies are the ones that get him drunk and drag him home from a hockey game. But enough about Paul and on to Michael.  

1. Michael Moore has a beard. That in itself is enough for most women. I mean c'mon. All women know the appeal of a beard. How sexy was Grizzly Adams after all?? Damn, I know I wanted a piece of that! Plus what's sexier than having your man look like a terrorist when visiting airports? It doesn't get any more exciting that that baby!

2. He is a member of the NRA. Now again, any lady or certain men, can appreciate a man with a gun. After all, Mr. Evil himself, our "so-called" President, sure seems to like those guns. And if he does, why shouldn't we? A man feeling the power in his hands, instead of between his legs, is a rarity indeed.

3. Michael Moore is no stick man. On the contrary, for all the women out there, he has love handles for the lot of us, possibly with some to spare. Now we can fanaticize about a "REAL" man, who doesn't run to the fridge during Monday Night football and whine about being out of lite beer. I say we make him the next Bachelor and see what ABC thinks of that.

*Footnote: He has been happily married for some time but I'm sure it's merely a charade to keep ahead of those Damn Republicans.

4. He's from Michigan. I mean that alone is enough to garner a gasp from the peanut gallery. Think of all the other famous celebrities that are from Michigan: Charlton Heston, Sinbad, Ted Nugent. Men don't get any sexier than this!

5. Michael Moore is literate, politically and otherwise. This man can not only read and write best selling novels, he can also point out the weaknesses of top political candidates. What could be sexier than a man who isn't worried about covering his own ass? Unless of course he's really only a man on the run with a death wish. But still, that's pretty hot if you think about it.

6. Michael Moore hates Republicans just like REAL men should. That's enough to marry a man in my book. Unless they are Clinton of course. Marry a man like him and all you end up doing is having him secretly castrated in Bangkok, while you're busy being a Senator trying to stay away from those pesky cigars.

7. He has balls. Ones the size of church bells it appears at times. And more for you to love. I think that's enough of titillating visualizations for this one.

8. Michael Moore is smart enough to realize that this damn war is pointless. A peaceful man is as luscious and naughty as they come. I mean at least you know that your piece of ass isn't going off to get blown to bits because our insecure leader says that it's justified to defend his Daddy's bad track record.

9. He's a Detroit Lions fan. If you didn't believe he was sexy before, this should be enough by itself. All women know that the Detroit Lions are the team that is the most pornographic on the field as they come. And if a man can appreciate that, you can certainly drag him off to the nearest Holiday Inn and have your way with him.

..... Comment to Paul about this column.....