A visual tribute to Bob Ross

Note: This is day two of "guest column week" at Daily Ramblings. Paul is busy molesting ducks at the pond. He says he's "feeding them bread crumbs", but we all know he's abusing them sexually. Today's guest column is by Tom Heuer, co-creator of this website's comic strip, "Mr. Cornelius Watercloset".

Bob Ross is my hero.

I am not ashamed to say that. Bob Ross embodies everything that is great about painting. And I should know, since I, myself, am a Internet painter. Paul Ryan, the creator of Daily Ramblings.com, has frequently contracted my services as a professional Internet painter. Some of my work can be seen here, here, and here. And I am also the Co-Creator of Mr. Cornelius Watercloset.

But I digress.

For those of you who don't know who Bob Ross is, he is a painter from show "The Joy of Painting" which can be seen on your local cable access channel. He is well-known for his soft voice and gentle brush stokes. Here is a picture of Bob Ross.

You may think he looks like a wanker, but he's not. Since Bob Ross is my hero, I have painted a painting of a painting of Bob Ross painting a painting. Confused yet? Just look at the damn painting.

Most of the time, Bob Ross will paint beautiful landscapes with breathtaking mountains, green pine trees and blue rivers. But on occasion he will just paint a butt. I had a hard time painting his hand, so I decided I would just paint a robot hand instead. Don't worry, Bob Ross is NOT a robot. But if he was, cool things could happen. He may just start a fight with Godzilla. I decided to render this encounter in the form of a painting.

Bob Ross would win, for sure. He has twice as many flames as Godzilla, plus laser beams coming out of his eyes.

Did you ever notice that Bob Ross' head is really round? I think you could use his head to calibrate a compass (The kind of compass that draws circles, you idiot!). It must take a lot of effort to maintain such a round fro which could only be accomplished by a professional barber. Bob Ross' head is so round, you could probably use his head as a basketball. Below is a painting of Bob Ross' head being used as a basketball. Notice the roundness of his head. And the fact that it is much like a basketball, in that it is round, like a basketball. Enjoy!

This last painting involves Bob Ross disco dancing. I would think that a man with such a "groovy" fro would most definitely enjoy "getting down" every once in a while. This painting makes Bob Ross look a lot like "Disco Stu" from The Simpsons. If you stop and stare at this painting, you will notice that I used interesting, and considered by many as "insane" colors. Notice the pink pants and purple jacket. While Bob Ross may be perfect with color selection on his beautiful artwork, he most likely has a terrible time picking out a wardrobe that matches. Not to mention that he is probably color blind. Well, I hope you enjoyed my artwork. I know I enjoyed creating it.

Editor's Note: Would you like a desktop wallpaper of the "Godzilla vs. Ross" painting? I've created some for you in a variety of screen resolutions. Download yours below.

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